Ok gentlemen it’s time for some straight talk. Please know that all of this comes from a place of love and the intention to inspire. I’m a woman who talks to men and women all the time about love and loss. What you both have in common is that you’re all kind, loving souls worthy of giving and receiving love. Guys, sometimes you wonder what you’re doing wrong when it comes to women. So when I list 20 traits of a high value man, I’m simply reporting what women want. This is to help you. So please read this, be honest with yourself and where you are in your life and where you want to go. Then do whatever you can to make positive changes for yourself first. Love yourself truly and true love comes. Ok, here it goes….
20 Traits of a High Value Man
- He commits to himself and others.When it comes to himself, his betterment, his career, his friendships, even the plans he makes on his weekends; this guy operates on full commitment. He either goes all in or not at all. He knows that if he’s going to approach a woman he’s doing so because he is confident about what he has to offer. He’s not interested in anything vague. He is comfortable with commitment; values loyalty and knows if it’s a match, he’ll commit fully. If it’s not he’ll move along even if that means being alone.
- He LOVES putting forth effort for a woman.From the way he dresses for dates, to the 15 seconds it takes him to make reservations; this guy puts effort in and takes pride in mastering the details. He never asks a woman what she wants to do. He asks her about her interests, likes and dislikes and then he plans from there. He also picks her up even if it’s in a car service or Uber. He makes sure she is safe and protected. Effort also translates into the bedroom. He takes great pride in pleasuring his woman sexually. He wants his time with her to last as long as possible.
- He makes plans and follows through.He doesn’t shy away from making firm plans because he values his time and likes to pack his days with activity and action. He balances professional and personal commitments and people in his circle never have to wonder if he’s showing up. When he plans a date he makes sure the reservations are made. If the date involves activities, he tells the woman to pack a bag with workout clothes, sneakers, a dress, and shorts whatever she’ll need.
- He calls and doesn’t rely solely on text.A high value man knows women fall in love with their voice and manner of expression. A high value man cares about whom he’s spending time with so he wants to have phone conversations to see if the woman is on his level. He has standards and having a conversation with a woman via phone tells him a lot about who she is and what she wants. It also allows him to share things about himself earning her trust before the first date even happens.
- He is a great conversationalist.He’s seen some cool Ted Talks; he reads, attends seminars, just came back from or is going to some city either for work or pleasure and can talk about it. He doesn’t brag or come across as a know it all but he knows what he knows and is confident in sharing it. This is a man with a full life with many experiences to draw upon which makes conversation with this guy interesting. He’s not afraid to answer questions. He’s open. He also asks the woman questions showing her that he’s interested in who she is not just what she looks like.
- He dresses and grooms himself impeccably.This has zero to do with designer labels and $300 haircuts. It has to do with self-love, self-care and having an eye for style. He subscribes to Men’s Health, GQ or Esquire and then knows how to recreate the top designer looks for less. He’ll buy a less expensive jacket a size or two larger and spend the money to have it tailored perfectly to fit his body. His shoes are clean. His nails manicured, cuticles and calluses handled. He doesn’t wear too much cologne, just enough to smell great when you get close. All of his man-hair is plucked, shaved and trimmed. This includes rogue eyebrow hairs, ear hairs and nose hairs. He’s a man, nothing feminine about him but he cares about looking his best.
- He smiles a lot and is a positive person.A high value man knows how master his mind moment to moment. He has a positive outlook because he knows he can be, do or have anything he puts his mind to. He doesn’t allow any negativity to occupy his mind. He pivots his thoughts to the positive outcome he wants it and moves forward. He’s conscious and aware that his thoughts create his reality. He puts his mind into positivity mode and can rattle off 10 things he’s grateful for at any moment. He’s got a lot to smile about when he thinks about how he’s walking, breathing, the sky is bright, he’s loved, he’s healthy, he’s having fun and his woman… naked kissing in bed on a Sunday morning!
- He doesn’t chase, he attracts.When out socially, he carries himself as a gentleman and doesn’t have that vibe of being on the hunt for a woman. He doesn’t hunt. He attracts. There is no vibe of desperation. He’s the man leaning against the bar casually looking up at the TV and sees a woman with his peripheral vision. When she sneaks in beside him to grab a napkin he hands her one and says, “here you go, I saw you coming.” Then he smiles at her and she feels like he’s her knight in shining armor because he handed her a napkin. He starts talking to her and it’s ON!
- He understands a woman of value can choose.He never lets rejection get to him. He doesn’t turn into a 6-year-old boy whining and insulting a woman if she rejects him. Maybe he’s tall, dark and handsome and she likes guys with light eyes and hair. He understands attraction is a very personal thing. He’s polite to everyone and never makes a woman feel badly or wrong for politely declining his advances.
- His car and home are tidy.He doesn’t have junk and trash in his car. It is clean. Similarly his home is in order. Toilets are clean and the bed is made. He likes his surroundings to be uncluttered.
- He’s fun!A high value man knows he’s a fun person to be around. He works hard and plays hard. When there’s music he’s dancing. If there’s karaoke, he’s singing. He’s a guy who goes for it and wants everyone he’s with to have a fun time. Even if he’s more introverted he’s never boring.
- He’s clear on his intentions.You never wonder where you stand with a high value man. He knows what he wants. He’s confident in what he has to offer. When you ask him what he wants he responds, “what everyone wants, true love. Someone whose back I can have and who will have mine, a ride or die partnership.” He wants a committed relationship but not just any relationship. He wants a high value woman who will inspire and encourage him to follow through on his dreams; someone who will add to his life in a meaningful way.
- He communicates clearly and effectively and makes his standards known.He has no problem asking for what he wants. If he notices something about the woman he’s with that he doesn’t like, he discusses it. His goal isn’t to criticize or put her on the defensive. His goal is to reach an agreement. He’s prepared to walk away if she’s unwilling to hear him out and compromise.
- He’s well mannered.He knows what to do with the cloth napkin at the table. He knows to come around to her side of the car, open her door and offer his hand. He puts his hand on the small of her back to lead her into a doorway then takes her hand. If he has to excuse himself briefly he doesn’t leave her alone without first kissing her hand, cheek or forehead. He’s polite to wait staff and the people at the valet. He treats everyone with kindness and respect.
- He knows how to seduce a woman.He is smooth, charming, and sexy. He asks questions and takes an interest in the woman he’s with. He wants to know what she reads, what her fears are, who helped her in a time of crisis, who she’s helped, what her dreams are. He looks at her as if she is the only woman on earth and when she’s passionately talking about something she loves to do he leans in close and says, “your passion is so sexy, just had to let you know, ok… continue.” He knows how to touch her arm in a soft sensual way, how to clear away her hair from her face, how to offer her his arm or hand to hold when they walk through a crowd. He knows how to look at her, talk to her, so she’s dying to get him alone.
- He locks down the next date before the current one ends.If he likes her he’s not wasting any time. He’s going all in with her. So, it’s common for a high value man to ask a woman what she’s up to tomorrow. He knows he has nothing to lose. He’s confident so he doesn’t care if she says she’s busy. He wants her to know he’s interested and that he doesn’t play games.
- He’s in touch throughout the day.A high value man knows anything or anyone valuable requires attention. He’ll text her in the morning. Then he’ll check in to hear her voice in the afternoon and if he hasn’t made plans to see her again, he’s calling at night. If he has a busy day ahead, he’ll text in the morning. “Hi beautiful. Have back-to-back meetings today. Will call you when it’s all done probably round 7pm. Know I’m thinking of you.” Then at 7pm he calls like he said he would.
- When having cocktails, he gets her water.He doesn’t peer pressure her into drinking more. He’s a mature gentleman not a frat-boy. He likes that the woman he’s with has limits and wants to switch to water. In fact he keeps an eye on her and hands her a glass or bottle of water and takes a sip himself. “Here, drink some water.” He wants to show her he has her back and isn’t going to let the partying get out of control.
- He shows the right amount of PDA. He’s not grabbing at her in public. He’s not engaging in a full on make out session at the restaurant. He knows how to lean in and steal a kiss in a classy, gentlemanly way that is incredibly appropriate and sexy. He leans into her ear to talk to her when it’s loud and then kisses her neck. He says, “just wait till I get you alone.”
- He seeks to understand women and doesn’t bail at the first show of emotion. A high value man knows that no one is perfect. He wants to peel back her layers. He wants to know about the darkness that feeds her light, her rise up from heartbreak, her fears, dreams, things she wants to accomplish but procrastinates doing, the smack talk she tells herself that isn’t at all true. He wants to see the beauty in her chaos and knows that life takes a toll on great souls. When she seems afraid or sabotaging he’ll take her hands in his and say, “tell me…who hurt you, who thought they could mess with your love?” Then he’ll listen and will chime in with his own story of love, loss and growth. He knows there is strength in vulnerability. A high value man bonds before the clothes come off. He doesn’t try to get into her bed because he first wants to get into her head.
So there you have it. There are many more qualities but these were the ones that came up most often. I’m a grown woman just trying to help you wonderful men out. When you know better, you do better. I believe in any man who truly believes in himself.
About the writer:
Lisa Concepcion, writer, speaker, vlogger and Founder of LoveQuest Coaching™ is a Professional Life Coach specializing in dating, relationships and self-love. Originally from New York now based in Miami, Lisa candidly shares the valuable lessons she learns on her own LoveQuest journey offering online workbooks and video workshops, group workshops, one-on-one sessions, and seminars, to help people attract, give and keep love starting with love of self. Connect with Lisa via her YouTube Channel or by visiting LisaConcepcion.com